


we were wild and fluorescent

by iwillbeyourgoal



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fluff, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 08:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14787272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwillbeyourgoal/pseuds/iwillbeyourgoal
Summary: "because ours are the moments i play in the dark/we were wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart"wade commiserates with tony after peter breaks up with him.





	we were wild and fluorescent

**Author's Note:**

> hey! this IS a deadpool story, so most of the typical triggers apply: casual suicidal ideation, self-harm, heavy drug use, etc. my boi's got PROBLEMS, is what i'm trying to say, the poor thing.

Wade Wilson lies on his back next to a decently sized pile of empty ketamine vials, staring at the ceiling. He’s already coming down from his high, and he just drained the last of his supply. Groaning, he turns his head and stares at his hand, wiggling his fingers. He wonders if he can reach one of his guns with minimal movement so he can blow his brains out.

[Worth a shot.]

{Stop being dramatic.}

“Shut up, Yellow,” he mutters, reaching for one of his leg pouches. He’s almost gotten the gun out when he hears the ding of an elevator, and the door slides open.

“Jesus  _ Christ _!” 

Tony Stark almost drops the bags of groceries he’s carrying. Wade raises his eyebrows and leans his head back in an attempt to bro-nod at the man whose apartment he broke into.

“Sup,” he greets him.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Deadpool?”

Wade sighs. So much for pleasantries. “Spidey broke up with me. A week ago.”

“He – what? Broke up? You were dating?”

“Of  _ course _ we were dating, and if you’d ever take two seconds to pull your head out of your metal ass you’d have seen it.”

Tony rolls his eyes and sets the groceries on his counter, seemingly resigned to the mercenary’s presence in his home. “You know, after I break into a –  _ seemingly _ impenetrable, I’ve got to up the security – apartment, I try not to insult the person who lives there.”

“Yeah, well, that’s where we differ, Starky, my boy.”

“I’m not a boy. I’m older than you,” Tony mutters.

“You don’t know that!” Wade insists, pointing his finger at the man. “No one can agree on my age!”

Ignoring this, Tony asks, “Why are you at my place?” 

“Well, I’m not exactly drowning in best buddies, and you’re one of the only Avenge-losers that seems to really get P – Spidey. I needed someone to talk to, okay?”

Tony doesn’t respond, just runs a hand over his face and sits on a barstool. Wade rolls over, relishing the feel of the vials crunching glass penetrating his suit and skin, and prompting a wince from the other man.

“Probably gonna bleed on your floor,” Wade says, somehow managing to make an apology sound as little like an apology as possible. “You’ll wanna clean it up while it’s still wet.”

“So, you and Spider-Man…?” Tony trails off, ignoring Wade’s cleaning advice.

“Yup.”

“How long?”

“‘Bout nine months now. Or, well, not  _ now _ anymore. Nine months... then? It was nine months, is what I’m trying to say.”

“I didn’t even know he was gay,” Tony admits, brow knit.

“He’s not,” Wade replies, a hint of annoyance in his tone. “Might not even be bi. He just… liked me.”

“Why?”

Tony’s question comes so quickly and sincerely that Wade can’t help but feel hurt. Words, as a rule, don’t usually bother him, but at least when he gets shot or stabbed the holes close up and his body carries on, business as usual. His heart isn’t so lucky.

“Fuckin’ never understood that, myself,” he replies, laughing mirthlessly. “When he… when we got together, thought I was hallucinating, or dreaming. Why in the sweet fuck would someone like that – someone so  _ good _ wanna be with me?”

Tony has to literally bite his tongue to keep from replying.

“But he thought I was funny. He liked my stupid jokes, and my references, and my Golden Girls marathons. He…”

The red-clad man stays silent for a long moment before Tony, genuinely curious despite his better interest, prods him. “He what?”

Wade turns to face him, and even though Tony can’t see his eyes through the white lenses, he can tell they’re filled with pain. “He loved me.”

Conflict swirls in Tony’s mind. On one hand, he knows Deadpool has a kill count the size of the borough of Manhattan, and has no qualms with doubling it. On the other, he has noticed that, instead of killing criminals, the mercenary has recently taken to tying them up, or taping them to a wall, or other similarly creative methods of… well, not killing them.

“Did he get you to stop killing people?” he asks, realization dawning on him.

Wade pauses for a moment before nodding. “He didn’t like it.”

“Smart man.”

“I wanted to be good for him,” Wade says, his tone bare. “I wanted to be someone he could want.”

“Sounds like he already did. Probably a bad move on his part,” Tony says before he can stop himself.

“Would you  _ shut _ the fuck up and get Dorothy to find your heart, Tin Man?” Wade growls, sitting up. “I fucking loved him! You ever love someone so much that when they’re gone it’s like they’ve taken one of your limbs? Except I can’t grow Spideys back. That was my only one!”

Tony softens, nodding. “Yeah. I get that.”

“No, you don’t,” Deadpool says, his temper clearly reaching a breaking point. “You don’t understand. He was the only fucking good thing about my shitty life, the only thing that made immortality worth a damn thing, and he left me. He’s gone. I don’t fucking know what to do. Can’t get high to forget him, can’t turn a corner in this city without seeing something that reminds me of him. Can’t even fucking  _ die _ to forget.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Tony says, frowning and standing up. “Deadpool, have you tried to kill yourself because of this?”

“Of course I have!” Wade’s voice raises, and a crazed laugh is ripped out of him. “Man, I don’t think you’re getting how  _ unbelievably _ pointless my life is without him. You know how, like, the woman who played Mrs. Garrett in The Facts of Life wasn’t in the last season, and it’s like, what’s even the point if the girls don’t have their sassy but sweet moral compass to guide them?  _ It’s like that _” 

“That’s… Deadpool, I know you know I don’t like you, so at least you can take what I’m about to say seriously,” Tony starts, his tone grave and his brow furrowed. “Dying isn’t the answer, and no one is worth your life. Not even Spider-Man.”

“He’s worth everything,” Wade says immediately. “And didn’t you hear me? I can’t die. I can try, but nothing sticks. Clinical insanity and a healing factor are the biggest cosmic ‘fuck you’ of a combination if there’s ever been one.”

Tony is quiet for a bit, staring at the man sitting on his floor. He has no idea when the shift happened, but he feels so bad for Deadpool his heart could break in half. He has no doubt the breakup was the mercenary’s fault – but even so, no one deserves to feel this way.

“What happened?” he finds himself asking. “Why… why did he leave?”

Wade scrubs his eyes with his fist, sighing. “I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t fuckin’ know. It’s just, one night we’re in bed, naked after fuckin’ the shit out of each other – “

“You could leave that part out, y’know.”

“ – just fuckin’  _ railing _ each other, poundin’ into the mattress for hours – and then the next morning he’s gone.”

“Gone? Did he leave a note?”

Wade unzips a pouch on his belt and pulls out a folded piece of paper. He holds it up to Tony, who unfolds it and reads aloud, “Sorry, but I have to go. You can heal from anything, you’ll heal from this.”

Ouch. Tony has always considered Spider-Man to be a good kid, maybe a little spastic, but good at heart. This has an edge that he hadn’t figured the boy possessed.

Handing the note back to Wade, he sighs, wondering what the other Avengers would think if they found out he’d not only taken on the role of Deadpool’s confidant, but done it somewhat willingly. 

“So… are you just gonna let him go?” He can’t believe he’s playing The Best Friend in Deadpool’s romantic comedy. There is something severely wrong here, he thinks, and he vows never to tell anyone about it.

Wade scoffs, shrugging. “There’s shit else I can do, is there? I don’t know where he is. I’ve never been to his place. He’s not answering my texts  _ or _ my Snapchats. I even used the flower crown filter. It’s his favorite.”

“Hold on,” Tony says, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his contacts. If he’s gonna feel bad for known murderer Deadpool, he’s gonna try and make it right. “Lemme just…”

He holds the phone up to his ear and waits for a few moments. Wade quirks his head as he watches. 

“Hey, Spider-Man,” he says, eyebrow raising as Deadpool’s eyes widen. “How ya doin’? Good. I’m good. Hey, so I’ve got some new tech at the tower that I think you’d be into – maybe could incorporate some of it into your suit? Thing is, I’m leaving town tomorrow, so the only good day for you to come by in the next week would be today. Wanna drop by soon?”

Wade is on his feet now, leaning into Tony’s space at an uncomfortably short distance.

“Awesome, sounds great. Pepper’s working in the lobby today, just tell her you’re here for me and she’ll see you up. See you soon.”

No sooner has he hung up than he’s tackled by a grown man who smells a little like what Tony imagined a corpse combined with garbage was like. Deadpool wraps his arms around the man and shoves him against the kitchen cabinets. 

“Oh, RDJ,” he says, his voice muffled by the mask and Tony’s shoulder. “Thank you. So much.”

“What’s an RDJ?”

“Don’t worry about it.” He pulls away, his hands on the man’s shoulders. “Seriously. If this works out, thank you. And if it doesn’t I’m gonna try and kill myself again.

Tony winces. “Jesus, Deadpool, you’ve got to get some therapy.”

“Been! Doesn’t help.”

Tony glances over to the floor of his entryway, which is now covered in blood and broken glass. “Ah, I think the evidence of gratuitous drug use might dissuade him from taking you back,” he says, nodding at the mess.

Wade frowns. “You think?”

This is the thing about Deadpool, Tony thinks – he’s not (usually) an asshole to people he’s not fighting. He’s just so far removed from what society considers normal that he doesn’t know how to act. Doesn’t mean Tony has to like him, he tells himself… just that he understands him a bit more now. 

“Yeah. Let’s get this cleaned up.”

They get out a Swiffer and a broom, and Tony finds out Wade knows a lot about the properties of various cleaning chemicals and the best combinations to get blood out of any surface, which he supposes would be useful in his line of work. He makes a note to jot down what he remembers later – just in case.

The elevator dings about an hour later, and Tony sees the other man visibly straighten up, nervously brushing some smaller shards of broken glass off of his suit. Oddly, Tony is really rooting for this to work out, and that does  _ not _ make him Deadpool’s friend, okay, just… he can be a bit of a romantic when the mood is right.

The door opens, and Spider-Man steps into the room. He offers Tony a two-fingered wave before he turns and freezes when he sees Deadpool.

The room is unbearably silent for a few seconds before Wade offers up a meek “Hi.”

Spider-Man looks from his ex to Tony. “What… what’s going on?” he asks.

“I – ” Wade starts, but Tony cuts him off.

“I think you owe Wade an explanation,” he says, and he’s surprised at how stern his voice is. “If you want to leave, that’s fine, but don’t take off in the middle of the night and leave a note. That’s a coward’s exit, and frankly, it’s not what I expected from a hero.”

This prompts looks of shock from both men, and he relishes the sight of a speechless Deadpool for a moment before he moves to the elevator.

“I’m gonna go talk to Pepper for a bit. GIve you two some privacy.”

As he leaves, Peter turns to Wade. “What… the hell did you do to get Iron Man to like you?” he asks incredulously.

“It’s amazing what two hours, a bottle of ranch, and nipple clamps can accomplish,” the older man replies, but it’s accompanied with a pang of familiarity – bantering and flirting always came so easily to them that in some ways, even before they were dating, they were together. 

Peter laughs a little, but stops abruptly. The two are quiet for a moment before Wade, shuffling from one foot to the other, says quietly, “Why’d you leave, Peter?”

The boy says nothing at first, but sighs and cranes his head up to look at the ceiling. “I... It was the, ah, five year anniversary,” he said.

“Five year ann… five years of what?” Wade asks, shaking his head.

“Of Gwen. Of Gwen dying.” Peter sniffles, blinking hard. 

Wade makes a noise low in his throat, and steps closer. He starts to reach out his arms to envelop the boy, but stops.

“God, Peter. I’m sorry. I forgot.”

“It’s been five years, and I just… I killed her, you know? I let her die. And that night, I was just, I was looking at you as you were asleep, and I thought, God, what if something happened? What if something happened to Wade?”

Wade shakes his head furiously, now only a few inches away from Peter.

“No. No, Peter, you didn’t fucking kill her. It was an accident, God knows I make ‘em all the time, but you didn't  _ kill _ her. And I… I can’t die, remember? No broken neck for me.”

“I know, but what if someone  _ took _ you?” Peter pulls his mask up, and Wade lets out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding when he sees the boy’s face, red and tear-streaked. “What if… what if someone took you away to get to me?”

At this, Wade can’t help but laugh. “You idiot. You absolute fuckin’ moron,” he says affectionately. “We’re  _ superheroes _ . People are always gonna be tryin’ to fuck with the people we love. But we’ve got the leg up on ‘em, because we  _ both _ have powers. This ‘run away to protect you’ is very Tuxedo Mask in season 2 of Sailor Moon of you, baby boy, and it doesn’t become you at all.”

Peter allows himself a smirk at Wade’s reference and rubs the tears away.

“I’m a big boy – as well you know,  _ ahem  _ – and I can handle myself,” Wade tells him, smiling a little. “You don’t need to protect me. I have got guns and knives coming out of my ass, usually literally. I holds my own in a fight.”

Nodding, Peter squints his eyes shut. “I know. I know. It’s just… the thought of losing you is too much, Wade. I can’t bear it.”

“Then don’t fuckin’ leave me again, you beautiful bitch!” Wade exclaims, throwing his hands up. “Easy as that!”

This elicits a full laugh out of Peter, and it’s the most beautiful thing Wade’s ever heard. He grins and reaches up to roll his mask up so his mouth is exposed.

“Now kiss me and let’s fuck so hard that Stark gets one more fluid of mine on his floor.”

Peter frowns and cocks his head. “What?” 

But Wade is already kissing him, and he melts into it, his hand coming around to cup the back of Wade’s neck. 

One of Tony’s screens lights up and his face appears as Peter pulls his mask down frantically. “You two have one hour, you hear me? One, and then I’m not responsible for how I respond if I come up there and find you in any compromising positions.”

“Just your luck!” Wade says, grinning at the screen. “We only do the compromising ones.”

Tony rolls his eyes and the screen shuts off, and Wade turns back to Peter, who’s giggling.

“I love you,” Wade says. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I love you,” Peter echoes. “Please don’t die.”

“Couldn’t if I wanted to.”

“Same here.”

And they fall together, and Wade makes a note to send Tony Stark the biggest, most obnoxious bouquet of roses he can find. 


End file.
